I have been wandering aimlessly in the house for the last hour. I don’t seem to be able to focus on anything. I go to the kitchen, open the refrigerator then shut it; I get a cup fill it with water and put it on the counter without drinking; I go to the living room, switch the TV on and flip the channels while looking out of the window; I walk to the bedroom, look around irresolute then turn around and walk back to the living room to lie on the sofa and stare at the ceiling.
I am in a constant state of anxiety. No! Anxiety doesn’t really describe it. What I am feeling is an odd mixture of joyful anticipation and restlessness.
This won’t do. I need some fresh air. I grab my camera and my sweater and head to the park.
The green serenity of the park works its magic. I feel myself relax. I sit cross-legged in the midst of the wildflowers and with a deep sigh close my eyes.
A faint rustling catches my attention. I open my eyes. A few feet away, a squirrel is standing motionless on his hind legs in the middle of the flowers.
I reach quietly for my camera and take a picture. He seems oblivious to anything but the wildflowers surrounding him. I sit still hardly daring to breathe. He suddenly hops and disappears in the grass.