Day 8

Lately, I just feel like complaining. I am whining all the time. The world irritates me and nothing feels right. My volume and my weight has grown exponentially. All this bulk is a big strain on my back, my joints and my muscles.

My back aches all the time. My muscles are continually adjusting to carry the extra weight. My feet are swollen.

I avoid deep armchairs because once I sit in them I need a crane to get me out. Wherever I go, I am always on the lookout for the nearest bathroom. My bladder is temperamental. It is overactive at the most embarrassing moments. Heartburn is my most constant and irritating problem. I cannot tolerate the mildest of foods. Leg cramps are my worst nightmare. I mean it literarily. I wake up most nights from a sound sleep, screaming with pain. My calf muscles are so taut that I can hardly touch them. The pain is excruciating.

It feels like an eternity since I ate a decent meal, wore a pretty dress and walked gracefully; I don’t consider waddling like a duck graceful. I should welcome these changes. But it is difficult to see the bigger picture and embrace the new me when every muscle in my body hurts and bending forward is as difficult as climbing the Himalayas.

I sound so petulant and so unlike my usual self. Today, I can’t help it.


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